Work-in-progress
June 14, 2011
That, I am – A work in progress.
Half 0f 2011 had just passed in a blink of an eye. It was one of the most trying period of my life. I got really distracted for a few good months, and struggled for a pretty long time too. Transitions, temptations, expectations, blah blah blah. Am not totally struggle-free for now, but am thankful that God had been there all along and proved Himself so very faithful even when I’m not on track. My own journal served as a good reflection when I took time to pen those struggles down too. After going through that couple of transitions, funnily, I felt very much grown up. But the older I got, the more I realized that the heart is indeed very, very vulnerable. And it is so so so vital that I should remind myself everyday, to guard my heart. The heart took over for quite a while, and I was ..disastrous. Never would I wanna expose myself to such a vulnerable position again.
Just a couple of hours ago, I re-committed my dream to God. Accompanied with a sigh, I said, ”God, I really wanna sing. For you.”. It got so discouraging for a period of time, this singing thing, that I kinda chucked it aside and regarded it as a hobby. But no, I dont wanna do that. There’s a reason why God used me as a vocalist to serve in the youth ministry. And being a simple girl with no much talents, singing was prolly the happiest thing for me, and God using it to serve Him and His people, using it to expand my heart for Him, using it to experience Him in a different and deeper measure, I can’t help but to be in awe. How can I then, bring it down to such a level as to treat it as a mere hobby? And since this gift is given by Him, who am I to have the final say in how I should be using that gift for. I musnt forget that He is not done with this gift as yet, and that whatever I’d experienced and learnt before today are great assets and a stepping stone for something greater. Keep going, Joan!
Older I get, the bleaker the road ahead seems to be, the stronger my God’s presence has to be.
